Don't Let Your Anxieties Dictate Your Child's Future
- maggiechan
- 2 days ago
- 2 min read
Let me share a story I encountered today.
Father was sitting at my left hand side, practically bursting with anxiety, with a long list of prestigious schools and programs, rattling off five words per second; to my right was a child with his hoodie pulled down covered his face and headphones plugged in.
My strongest feeling at that moment wasn't "how to help them with an academic plan," but rather heartache for the child. The father's anxiety was like an impenetrable net, crashing down on him relentlessly; and the child's indifference and rebellion were simply his only weapons for self-defense.
The father anxiously asked me, "Maggie, look at him now, isn't he doomed?"
To be honest, every time I hear something like that, my heart skips a beat. This fear, disguised as "for your own good," is slowly destroying the child's confidence.
At Maple Study Link, I often do things that seem "unrelated”.
I don't rush to discuss performance and grades; instead, I start by chatting. I encourage the father to go get a coffee, let him rest, and not let adult anxiety dictate his child's future. Then I turned backed to the child and said, “It’s okay. You can say whatever you want here, or you can choose not to. Nobody’s forcing you.”
When the child realizes that his true feelings are more important than that list of prestigious schools, his previously closed-off soul tentatively peeks out.
Honestly, I’ve been there myself. I studied in Hong Kong when I was a child, then came to Canada for high school and university, experiencing different education systems. Isn’t the best thing about Canada precisely because it has a wide track and a high tolerance for error? I often ask parents, “How come you are here, but your mind is still living in that single exam room?”
Academic planning is really not as simple as filling out college applications. I’m more like a “translator” between parents and children. Helping parents shed their fear of failure and creating a small space for children to breathe freely.
This is my Day 4. Just a quick note: although I was a little tired after today’s meeting, seeing the child take off his headphones and smile at me as he left made me feel so good.
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